Psychic Gamer Superstar

How I used my psychic powers to become an online gamer superstar

You can google me under gorebagg and you'll see it's true -- I'm a world-famous online gamer, and what's more, I have been a gamer superstar since 1995 quake days. How did I do it? I used my psychic superpowers. There's an app for that, and I'll explain how you can do it too.

1. Get online and download an online game like World of Warcraft (I'm a high level Night Elf) or Diablo 2 (I've got some demos on youtube giving my "take" on Diablo 3) or Team Fortress 2. IMHO, TF 2 is the best of the three.
2. Register with the gaming host -- in the case of Team Fortress (TF2) it'll be steam. Valve is the maker of the game.
3. Decide on an avatar name. Best is to dowse for the name or use a Ouija board to get the most psychically powered gaming name. I used "GoreBagg" because when my duffle bag was lost or stolen on a military MATS flight in 1964 and I was issued a body bag to carry my stuff off the plane, I got dubbed "gore-bag" which is a body bag from the Nam Era. Gorebagg with two Gs happened after I won the #1 assassin spot on Diablo 2 last season, and didn't want to erase the character, so I added the extra "g" at the end.
4. Now that you have the perfect name for your character, it's time to become an awesome player. You can ask anyone who has played with me whether or not I am an awesome player. They will tell you that I am, indeed, a legendary/awesome gamer. My credentials are in. My advice will be good.
5. Okay, so now you sign up for a dialup IP account, especially if you are on a high-speed account. Use a double plug for this so you don't louse up all your other online stuff.
6. Play TF2 at about 17.4k if you can, 28k max. Learn to "skid" and roll with the sluggish lag, anticipating where someone is going to be long before they get there. You will automatically start to precog where the action will be way before it happens.
7. After a few months of dialup play, go to high speed and see the result. Repeat as necessary.

That's the whole secret. If you think I'm kidding, look at my youtube vids from my dialup play and from my highspeed play. You will be amazed when you try it. It really works.