Robert Pattison Hulk Screentest

Robert Pattison's screen test for REVENGE OF HULK went well as you can see from this jacket and shirt ripping sequence as he becomes the HULK after some outrage by the bad guys.
"Pattison is, like, totally perfect for the part," actress Lohar Linsay said to this reporter, "his, like, headspace, it like suits the character incredibly." Pattison is currently considering a starring role in the remake of "Creature from the Black Lagoon", "Kidnapped" and "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea".

Invisible Hair-Do New Rage

The invisible hair-do by Max Collins is now everywhere, on every Red Carpet in the world. This ultra-pricey hairstyle depends on length -- the hair must be well over 20" long and perfectly straight in order to carry the inviso-spray used for the effect. Her hair is actually full, long and luxurious to the touch, but totally invisible to the eye.

Proof of Time Travel in Photo

A Grecian warrior showed up suddenly on the grounds of the World Cup championships today.
He was carrying a sword and shield, and said he had moments before been in a battle led by Alexander the Great.
Remarkably, he had during the transition from antiquity, lost his ability to speak ancient Greek.
His ability to time-travel was apparently a freak accident of having been struck by lightning during the battle, but it did not impair his ability as a warrior. He destroyed the entire stadium and left a swath of bodies in his wake.
Present whereabouts of the ancient Greek warrior are not known, but police have issued an all-points bulletin for his detainment on charges of trespassing and public nuisance.

Queen's Lead Singer Wears Hat

Queen's lead singer arrived hatless at Ascot, England, but was soon endowed with a topper by designer Mad Hatter.
Queen is booked for the Hollywood Palladium sometime this season, and is expected to cut another hit album, entitled "Don't give me a ticket, copper, I'm the Queen!"

UFO Lands in Sydney, Australia

Lights in the sky turned out to be more than just helicopters. These female abductees, identified as Tamara Jaber and Reigan Derry, had just enough time to point to the alien craft before they were whisked aboard by some sort of tractor beam.
They were returned several hours later, but had no memory of the event. All the witnesses apparently also had their memories blanked out by a pair of flash-emitting pocket pens wielded by two black-suited men wearing impenetrable Ray-Vac sunglasses.

Golfer Hits Home Run

Using a golf club instead of a bat, amateur Hudson Swafford hits a high home run off pitcher Don Mayhem against the New York Mets, scoring a touchdown in the third quarter for the Los Angeles Padres which brought home the winning run.
Goalee Michael Michaels said "I've heard of clubs beating diamonds before, but I've never seen anything like this."

Lost Dime Interrupts Baseball Game

New York Mets Angel Pagan virtually destroyed the ballgame as he went down on hands and knees looking for a dropped dime.
It is unclear whether the dime was his, or had been thrown by a fan in the grandstands.
This is not the first time he has scrambled around on the field looking for spare change. Earlier this week, he found a Kennedy half-dollar near third base.

Fake Newspaper Hits Russia

A newspaper with totally unintelligible headlines appeared today in the heart of the Russian Capitol city, Moscow. The perpetrator of the hoax is as yet unknown. Moscow was recently in upheaval due to a protest in favor of police brutality...or was it against? Russia granted the right of free assembly in Article 31 of the new Constitution, except when exercised in relation to controversial issues.

Psychic Body Enhancement

Is it possible to use psychic energy for body enhancement? The answer is emphatically yes, you can!

Here's the "before" picture, snapped just a few minutes prior to Paris Hilton's Psychic Power Body Enhancement!

Here is just one example of psychic body enhancement. Paris Hilton has never had surgery and yet she has in just a few minutes imagined her statistics into great shape, and you can, too. Merely concentrate your full attention on any area you want enhanced, and visualize your body shape to be however you want it to be; it helps to imagine what this will feel like when it happens. Within a few minutes or even a few seconds, your body shape will be exactly as you wish it to be.

HINT: A "MY SECRET" type push-up bra with pads and sticky tabs might help you to concentrate the psychic energies into exactly the right spot.

Psychic Gamer Superstar

How I used my psychic powers to become an online gamer superstar

You can google me under gorebagg and you'll see it's true -- I'm a world-famous online gamer, and what's more, I have been a gamer superstar since 1995 quake days. How did I do it? I used my psychic superpowers. There's an app for that, and I'll explain how you can do it too.

1. Get online and download an online game like World of Warcraft (I'm a high level Night Elf) or Diablo 2 (I've got some demos on youtube giving my "take" on Diablo 3) or Team Fortress 2. IMHO, TF 2 is the best of the three.
2. Register with the gaming host -- in the case of Team Fortress (TF2) it'll be steam. Valve is the maker of the game.
3. Decide on an avatar name. Best is to dowse for the name or use a Ouija board to get the most psychically powered gaming name. I used "GoreBagg" because when my duffle bag was lost or stolen on a military MATS flight in 1964 and I was issued a body bag to carry my stuff off the plane, I got dubbed "gore-bag" which is a body bag from the Nam Era. Gorebagg with two Gs happened after I won the #1 assassin spot on Diablo 2 last season, and didn't want to erase the character, so I added the extra "g" at the end.
4. Now that you have the perfect name for your character, it's time to become an awesome player. You can ask anyone who has played with me whether or not I am an awesome player. They will tell you that I am, indeed, a legendary/awesome gamer. My credentials are in. My advice will be good.
5. Okay, so now you sign up for a dialup IP account, especially if you are on a high-speed account. Use a double plug for this so you don't louse up all your other online stuff.
6. Play TF2 at about 17.4k if you can, 28k max. Learn to "skid" and roll with the sluggish lag, anticipating where someone is going to be long before they get there. You will automatically start to precog where the action will be way before it happens.
7. After a few months of dialup play, go to high speed and see the result. Repeat as necessary.

That's the whole secret. If you think I'm kidding, look at my youtube vids from my dialup play and from my highspeed play. You will be amazed when you try it. It really works.

How to Make a Million Bucks as a Psychic

Want to make tons of money from your psychic gifts? No problem. Just follow my simple step by step method:

1. Dowse the stock market and invest everything you have in the top performer stock.
2. Write a book on how to dowse the stock market and invest the profits in the top performer stock you dowsed.
3. Use your telepathic powers along with your Causal Body Willpower to get yourself invited on all the major talk shows, especially Joy Behar, my rave fave talk show host.
4. Use your telekinetic powers to transfer all the gold from Fort Knox to your home, preferably in an unusued guest room or walk-in closet.
5. Apply your persuasion-power to any wealthy elderly relation who has included you in their Last Will & Testament.
6. Turn on your Charisma and Seduction Power to get local residents and neighbors to stop by your house and give you money.
7. Use your Telepathic Powers to convince the IRS to write a tax return for $1 million to your personal bank account.

None of those appeal to you? Here's an even easier method to make $1 million dollars from your psychic gifts:

Start with $2 million.

Predictions for Every Day This Year:

Normally, I'd post the various signs on different pages, so there'd be no confusion and you wouldn't be having to look through all the other horoscopes to find your own, but there's not enough room on this blog thingy to accommodate, so I'll just post them all on this page:

Aquarius -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Pisces -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Aries -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Taurus -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Gemini -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Cancer -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Leo -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Virgo -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Libra -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Scorpio -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Sagittarius -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

Capricorn -- you will have a funny day today. Your wisdom and sense of humor will serve you well.

All my readings are based on loose interpretations of Alan Leo and the horoscopes in the New York Post published same date, in 1949. I figure they're as accurate and generalized as anything produced in the present time.

Psychic Guy Predicts

Wondering what's gonna happen with the BP oil spill?

It's gonna keep gushing.

How is the stock market going to go this summer?

Not all that well, but surprisingly well considering what's happening with a number of very sleazy corporations.

Where is the political climate headed?

Ask yourself who won the California Primary and you'll get some idea.

What should I do with my money?

You still have some left? Send it all to the government -- they've got a serious cash-flow problem that just won't go away anytime soon.